Hannibal Lecter Would Choke On A Piece Of My Mind


First of all, a warning to ladies and young people who may be reading this:  I’m about to write a post which contains graphic descriptions of violence.  In some cases, I believe violence to be the only answer, and this is one of those cases.  If graphic descriptions of a person receiving a richly deserved beatdown makes you uncomfortable, I suggest you go play in some other sandbox for the next few minutes.


Facebook is normally the inspiration for my posts these days.  One friend or another will write a pithy comment, or let fly a barbed zinger in their status…and the rest, as they say, is history.  I normally write about politics, and this post will contain some of that.  But since both liberals and conservatives have kids, bullying is as un-polarized as an issue can be.

One of my friends put up the following as her status today:

[NAME] is a straight ally and there are 3 days until National Coming Out Day. I’m coming out for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality because it’s 2010 and almost 90% of LGBT youth experience harassment in school, and too many lives have been lost. Donate your status and join me by clicking here:

That’s a viral-marketing technique being used by the National Human Rights campaign to agitate for hate-crimes legislation.

The discussion of whether or not bullying a gay kid is a hate crime is a discussion for another time.  I think it’s a philosophically ridiculous argument to say that it is a hate crime, but that’s another discussion for another time.  Maybe later.

If a child is being harassed, the reason for the harassment is irrelevant.  What matters is that that the harassment is, and someone should make it stop.  Ideally, this would be the school system.  At the point which kids are in a public school, their parents have all ceded their responsibility to raise their kids — so the responsible adult in this case would be the administrators in the school system.

The problem is, they can’t.

A bully bullies because the only way he can feel better about himself is to shred someone else.  He does what he does to prove his supremacy to someone else.  But the problem is, his behavior is seated in the utterly insecure feeling that he is insignificant to those he cares about the most — parents, friends, girlfriend, whatever.  A school administrator can’t fill that void.

A bully bullies before, between, and after classes.  A school administrator has a full-time job without dealing with this kid’s destructive impulses, and simply cannot be there to stop him.  A bully, like an assassin, only has to be right one time.  The administrator, playing the part of a bodyguard, has to be right all the time.  It simply can’t be done.

This is when the natural right of a parent to defend their offspring comes into play, and where I get really freakin’ angry.

First, I won’t send my kids (when I have them) to a public school.  This will keep me out of trouble as much as it will keep them out of trouble.

Second, I’m going to have my kids trained in two martial arts of their choice, from the time they can walk.  I prefer Krav Maga and Mui Thai, but if they want to go with Aikido or Brazillian Jiujitsu, that’s fine with me.

Third, I will teach them that if any person ever presents themselves a threat in any way, they have my permission — no, they have my command, to put a boot to that person’s face (or any other weak point on their body) at extreme velocity.  I want my kid to put that bully in a wheelchair for six months.

Fourth, I will make it widely known that if any attempt at retaliation is made, I will personally visit a level of violence upon their head that cannot be fathomed.  No man, no woman, is allowed to tell a child of mine that they are not allowed to defend themselves.

And would you like to know why?

Because the adult (and I use the term loosely) who spawned and raised that little twit to threaten my child is responsible for every ounce of the danger my child was in.  They are responsible for putting my child in harm’s way.  At that point, I’m already on a hair-trigger.  And if that person decided it would be a good idea to tell me that my child did something wrong…

You’re gonna need a bigger wheelchair, pal.

So word to all the parents out there: Don’t let your kids grow up to bully other kids.  If they bully mine, it won’t go well for anybody on your side.


3 responses

  1. bullying gay people must not be considered a hate crime, they should accept that being gay is offensive to other people

    October 10, 2010 at 1:02 am

    • stixxxnstones

      Eh, I think you’ve forgotten something. Even if you’re offended by homosexuality, you’re still a bully. If you bully someone, you’re still worthy of getting your face bashed. It has nothing to do with why you’re offended. I don’t care that you’re offended. Get over it, and get over yourself.

      Bullying is the problem. A kid being flamboyantly gay is just the excuse. So go ahead, bully all the gay kids you want — but if you ever do that around me, I’ll Spartan-kick you through a wall.

      Fair warning.

      October 10, 2010 at 3:19 am

  2. John Hall

    I just found this blog. Looks like I’m going to be reading for the rest of the night.

    October 11, 2010 at 3:36 am

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